Conversation

“Hello, Mum, it’s me.”

“Tom? Have you heard?”

“Yes… yes, we have. It was positive.”

A pause, seemingly minutes long, creates a space between them; this is what it will feel like soon, without her he will be utterly alone.

“Oh… I don’t know what to say.” She was faltering, “It’s just, just so fucking shit awful. How is she taking it?”

A deep breath and then on the exhalation,
“I know Mum, thanks. She, well, she’s… well, there were a lot of tears, a lot. Swearing, statements of injustice, some shouting… but not until we got home. With the doctor she was calm, no sense of drama at all, she just asked questions about how long and the nature of the end.”

“How…?”

“… about three months. But, if she looks after herself, and with a bit of luck, maybe six. No more. And, the, well the end is likely to be a bit grisly. We need to get her into a good hospice for that. Apparently I won’t be able to manage it on my own.”

He could hear her turn away to stifle a sob,
“Oh, Tom.”

“Who’s on the ‘phone?”

“Tom.”

“Has he…?”

“… yes. Positive.”

His father made no further sound; he had been stopped in his tracks.
“You can talk to him in a bit, perhaps.”

“Mum, look, I had better not talk for too long. She’s asleep now, but I want to make the house nice and get some good food for her when she wakes up. I sort of need to make it normal but let her know…” His throat swelled and his eyes stung him, “… that I love her. Does that make sense?”

“Of course dear.” She was openly crying now. “Tom. She knows. We all know. And she loves you too. That’s not going to change. There’s a good in that.”

“Thanks, Mum. I am going to need you and Dad, and Ben. Actually, could you tell Ben? Say I’ll ring him soon, but I cannot take too many calls today, not like this. I need to get back to her, to the house.”

“Of course. Go and do what you need to, but remember we are all here and we’ll do whatever you ask. I know it sounds empty but just use us whenever, whatever time. We can get in the car and drive to London to help.”

“I know. Thanks.”

“Okay. Have you told her parents?”

“She rang before she slept.”

“How…?”

“Devastated Mum.”

“Should I…?”

“Sure. But perhaps tomorrow. They need some space. Look, I’d better go.”

“Okay. Sure. Goodbye sweetheart. We love you both.”

“I love you all too. Good night.”